Timoshka's Smile

Spirit: Timoshka's birthday is coming soon. Lord, how shall we celebrate it?

Flesh: Why celebrate it? He's gone. Get into bed, wrap yourself in a blanket and cry all day, hugging his sweater!

Spirit: Lord, I feel in my heart that You have prepared something special on this day. Yes, it's Timoshka's first birthday without him… Sad and painful… But what is this fire with which You kindle my heart?

I didn't understand what was happening. An irresistible desire to celebrate our little sparrow's birthday. It filled all my thoughts. I wanted something special. I wanted Heaven to smile. I wanted not to cry on this day, but to rejoice and give joy to others. After all, on February 14, 2012, on the day of Love, God gave us such a beautiful, kind, bright boy. He lived so little, but there was so much good and life in him! I wanted his dreams to be Santa Claus, to give gifts to poor children, to give money for treatment of other sick children, and so much more of the heavenly that was in our boy's heart—not to die with him! I wanted to infect others with these dreams! I wanted to do something that Timik would look at from Heaven with a wide, beautiful, happy smile!

HOLY SPIRIT: What I begin, I will finish. I will tell you what you need to do.

Spirit: I'm writing, Lord.

And then God sent an idea. Not people, not something I came up with myself (because I wouldn't have thought of it). And here's how we celebrated Timoshka's birthday.

We invited all our friends, acquaintances and strangers to one cozy café in our city. We greeted guests from early morning until late evening. Guests could choose a convenient time and come spend time with us, embrace and give a gift. Guests were warned that all funds collected that day would be given to the children's oncology department of our city. There was a huge delicious cake weighing 10 kilograms in the shape of a cloud with little angels. The day was magnificent! Toward evening someone asked if I was tired. No, because every embrace seemed to charge me! The warmth of each heart warmed my heart! And the awareness that we were doing something Heavenly, something so good, bright and right, brought indescribable joy!

I looked to Heaven and knew that Timoshka WAS SMILING!

Here's what my husband Yura wrote that day:

"February 14, among the people known as 'Valentine's Day,' God gave us a wonderful gift 8 years ago: OUR SON TIMOTHY!!! Today would be his 8th BIRTHDAY. Today is a heavy day for us, but also a joyful one! Today we will celebrate not Valentine's Day, but his birthday!!!

Now our son is in Heaven, and this is the first February 14 without him…

We love you, our little one, and we miss you very much, and we strive to see you as soon as possible!!! You will like this day, because we invited so many guests to your birthday, and you dreamed of this when you were sick—that on your birthday you could invite whoever you want and as many as you want… Thank you all for the very strong love toward us, which was shown all this time through your comprehensive support and care!"