Recently I listened to a sermon. A phrase sounded: "And if we cut off the oxygen?"... I sit there thinking: it never occurs to me to count how many times during the sermon I breathed in and out. The atmosphere is my natural environment, and I breathe, always breathing. I breathe while listening, I breathe while speaking, sleeping, eating, and never think about it. But place me in water, and I immediately understand—this is not my element, and I cannot endure long in water. If I climb high into the mountains—the effect is not like water, but breathing becomes much harder. The same in a mine, in a dusty room, when unloading cement...
Recently I heard a very interesting thought: "God commanded the water to bring forth fish—this is their environment. Take a fish out of water—it will not live long. God commanded the earth to bring forth all green things. Earth is the habitat of all plants. Uproot a tree, bush, grass, flowers from the earth, and they will die after some time. When God created man, He breathed into him the breath of life. The habitat of man is God or life with God, in God. Deprive man of this environment, this atmosphere, and he will perish."
"Thou shalt surely die," God says, warning Adam against breaking one single commandment...
He tasted it—so what? He lived a full 930 years. Someone might think: "I wish I had such an 'apple' to live 900 years!" But remember the fish without water—it lives for a few minutes; a severed branch might even bloom, but without earth it is doomed. Man, separated from God, cast out of paradise, will surely die, even having lived 900 years. This span later shortened to seventy, or eighty with greater strength.
When Adam and Eve tasted the forbidden fruit, they immediately felt how hard it was to "breathe"; they sewed coverings to make "breathing" easier, but this helped little. Beyond paradise, "breathing" became even harder. Sin is that atmosphere which gradually kills.
David writes: "My soul shall be satisfied only in God." Speaking in our context, God is David's atmosphere. When he is with Him, breathing comes easy, without strain, with the highest sense of security; David's mood improves. Why? Because "from Him comes my salvation."
When Nathan confronted David, and he saw the horror of his crime, it became very hard for him to "breathe." His "bones waxed old, his freshness departed," he felt terrible, very terrible without God. He repents, he deeply condemns his sin, he grieves deeply his fall, he turns to God—only in God does his soul find rest. No other "atmosphere" could ease his "breathing": not palaces, not power, not riches, not gold, not women—no one and nothing could help him. He "suffocated" until he escaped this suffocation into the pure atmosphere of God's forgiveness. "I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin."
How pleasant and joyful, after an exhausting business trip full of every temptation and sin, to return home, to family, to an atmosphere of love, acceptance, purity, and tenderness. This pleasant awareness—you are home. And this is only a pale reflection of what David experienced, returning to God.
The prodigal son also thought that, tearing himself from home, he would "breathe easy and freely," but alas, he fell into the suffocating atmosphere of a pigkeeper. A negative experience—it too is experience, which brought him back to his father! How he longed to breathe deeply the fresh air in his father's house. And this is possible! "My soul shall be satisfied only in God."
Peter denied Jesus three times in the courtyard of the high priest. When he came to himself, it was literally hard for him to breathe. Tears and sobs choked him, his heart was torn apart, his conscience mercilessly lashed his consciousness: "How could you, how could you betray the dearest Person, He whom you called Lord and Son of God?" Oh, if only he could change something, if only he could return that moment of denial... Peter left the courtyard of the high priest completely broken; he found himself in an alien and hostile atmosphere, having been without Christ. And he could not find peace until he met the Risen One.
And conversely, when Peter is in prison, shackled, with the grim prospect of dying tomorrow, yet he breathes calmly, evenly, does not worry, does not despair. What does he do? Peter yawned sweetly, lay down as comfortably as possible in his situation, and fell asleep! Can you imagine this?! He did not sink into anxious sleep; he sleeps like an infant! And even when an angel nudged him in the side, he did not fully wake, thinking it was a vision. Why? Because he was in his familiar environment—with Christ, with God, with a clear conscience. "Only in God..."
There are many such examples in the Bible; I will give one more. Jonah, hearing about Nineveh, flatly disagreed with God, and decided to flee from Him. Everything seemed fine; he breathed calmly, had enough money for a ticket, boarded the ship and... slept. But the music did not play long. Very soon he found himself in a suffocating chamber, searching for a window, but there is none. It is hard for him to breathe both physically and spiritually, but he continues to resist. And only on the third(!) day does he find a vent and prays in contrition to God. But what of the whale? It tries to digest him, but in vain—so stubborn was the prophet. Then the whale spits him out as a foreign element, and Jonah finds himself in God's atmosphere again, both literally and figuratively.
The lessons, I think, are obvious, but I will emphasize the conclusions once more. God created us for Himself, and only with Him, and only in Him is true life. Surely you have met many people who had dreams, plans, hopes, prospects, success, glory, fame, but in old age—a broken life, faded glory, unfulfilled hopes. The house they built collapsed, the tree they planted withered, the son they bore is far away. "My soul shall be satisfied only in God."
There was a very difficult period in my life; I found no peace from morning when I woke until evening when I fell asleep. And only when I entered our little prayer house did I, as they say, find relief. In the atmosphere of the church, breathing came easy and calm; all anxiety and sorrow retreated. This was a blessed state literally on the physical level. Such has never happened again. But as soon as I left the service, "deadly sorrow" descended upon me once more. Here I speak more of God's peace than of sorrow.
In "the assembly of the corrupt," breathing is heavy; when I am excessively absorbed in news—breathing becomes anxious; when I sin—"shortness of breath" appears, and only in God does my soul find rest!
Words from a very beautiful song: "How I wish to rest there and breathe, breathe, breathe, and with rapture enjoy myself, awaiting Christ, awaiting!"
