Escape from the Monastery
One night, when all the monks were asleep, the boys, knowing that no one was watching them, crawled out of their room. They slowly and quietly crept through the dark and musty corridors to a small door through which they had first entered the monastery. As they approached the door, they stopped, hesitant.
They were overcome with fear, trembling with excitement and breaking out in a cold sweat. They understood that freedom lay on the other side of this door. But what if they were discovered now? The monks might severely punish them for trying to escape from the monastery.
If they escaped and were caught, the monks would punish them even more harshly. Even if they tried to explain why they had fled, no one would believe them. Everything would be as the monks said. People would believe the monks, not two incorrigible fugitives, and then it would be even worse for them than ever before.
They had planned their escape from the monastery several weeks before this day, and now the time had come to execute their plan. Before them lay the door to their freedom, but how terrifying it was to decide to step beyond that door. Fear and doubt overwhelmed them; thoughts swirled and tangled in their heads; they were very nervous and afraid to go outside.
"Perhaps we have undertaken this for nothing," they whispered to each other as they sat in the darkness by the door, trembling with fear. One of them seized the door handle, but was afraid to open it. He quickly withdrew his hand and stepped back. The other brother did the same. What if it made a noise when they opened it? After all, it could wake the monks! They lingered at the door, but fear of being noticed spurred them on: instinctively, both simultaneously grabbed the door handle and slowly began to pull it toward them. To their great relief, the door did not squeak as it had when they first entered the monastery.
Several days before the escape, they had oiled all the hinges of the doors. They knew that if they had asked the monks for oil or lubricant, the monks would have become suspicious, so after each meal they withheld their oil and lubricated all the door hinges, thereby protecting the doors from squeaking during their escape.
When they went out, they expected it to be dark outside, but to their surprise, the moon was very bright that night. Above the small door, the same dim light still glowed; it was the same as when they had first come here. They ran toward the forest surrounding the monastery and quickly disappeared into the dense thicket. No one will find them in the forest, they said to each other; there they would be safe. At this time of year there were many wild berries in the forest, so they would eat them and would not starve.
After walking all night, trying to get as far away from the monastery as possible, they hid in the forest for several days until they were sure that no one was following them. They felt that their anxiety and fear were subsiding. All around were many delicious wild berries, and they gathered and ate them, trying to satisfy their hunger.
Wandering through the forest, they came upon a worn path and risked following it. Thus they walked for several days, and this path led them to a small village. It was already evening when they approached the houses, and suddenly they heard beautiful singing coming from one of the huts nearby. One of the boys (this was my father), was very interested in these sounds. He approached the small house from which the singing was coming and suggested to his brother: "Let's go in and listen to them sing!" His brother answered in fear: "No, we cannot go in there!" Then, without another word, he turned around and ran away.
Thus they parted, and my father never saw his brother again. He searched for him many times, but to no avail. It is important to note that several years after my father's death, we were able to find his brother in Russia with the help of the Red Cross.
As the boy approached the house, the singing became even more distinct and sounded beautiful. It enchanted him. It seemed to him as if he were in a dream, listening to wonderful music. He imagined that he was in heaven. He remembered how his mother used to tell him how good it would be in the monastery. She said that they would always listen to beautiful singing, study the Bible, and be in close communion with God. All these memories rushed through his head as he stood in the darkness under a tree, listening to the beautiful music coming from the house.
Suddenly a thought came to him: "Perhaps mama brought us to the wrong place? There was nothing like that in the monastery. We ran away from there because they raped us and used us as slaves. They did not teach us about God!" He stood there in the twilight, and felt drawn there by an invisible, irresistible force, but an even stronger fear prevented him from moving. Why had his brother not wanted to go in and run away?
He was afraid of all people and was certain that everyone would recognize him as a fugitive from the monastery. Suddenly they would grab him and force him back? The boy shuddered at the thought of being back in the monastery, where he would be beaten and tortured for escaping, and they would continue to rape him as before.
Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted. The singing stopped, and he heard cheerful voices and laughter as people began coming out of the house. He quickly retreated into the bushes, into the deep darkness of the night. The fear of being seen became stronger and stronger. He thought that his brother might have been right. He should not have gone there; it would have been too dangerous. These thoughts made him feel convinced that someone would recognize him as a fugitive from the monastery, catch him, and bring him back. "I don't want to go back to the monastery! It is the last place I would ever want to go!" he thought. With these anxious thoughts, he quickly disappeared into the darkness, fleeing from the people he so feared.
Without paying attention to the path, he ran into the forest as if running could free him from his anxiety. He ran farther and farther, seeking refuge, peace, and quiet. He tried to calm himself in his loneliness and despair in the thick, dark forest, where the evergreen trees seemed to stretch toward the sky silently and peacefully.
The rest of the night he wandered searching for his brother, but it was all in vain. Wandering in the darkness, he began to think about how to find some kind and understanding person who would listen to him and help him in this very difficult and heavy situation.
When morning came, he did not know how far or in what direction he had gone. It was very cold, and he was freezing badly. He suddenly noticed that he found himself in a corner between two buildings that protected him from the cold wind. Apparently, he had wandered into the city during the night and accidentally ended up here. But feeling the walls on both sides of him, he relaxed and began to calm down.
It felt so good that he wanted to lean against the wall and rest a bit before he continued on his way. For a moment he lost consciousness—fell asleep standing in the corner between two walls. As dawn broke, he noticed people walking with carts, horses, and chickens. There were also people carrying fresh vegetables. All of them were going here and there, and none of them paid any attention to a lone boy standing alone. Perhaps they thought he was one of those heading to the market.